Job Hunting, Bennett-style
As unemployment continues in a decidely upward direction…
The response from National was swift and decisive…
“I’m very surprised with the numbers I’ve seen this morning, goodness knows what the next one will look like.”
Ain’t it a bugger when a Prime Minister is “surprised” with rising unemployment numbers. “Goodness knows”, it’s only been trending upward since the beginning of the year…
“What we have found through this recovery is that it has been a bit hard to predict and we’ve seen these sort of numbers jump around, they can be up one quarter and down another quarter.”
“Jumping numbers“?! Has Little Leader been dropping a bit of bad acid lately?! What next; dancing flowers? Cartwheeling pigeons?
Get those “jumping numbers” under control, Mr English! They’re having waaaay too much fun!
But considering the thousands who’ve been made redundant this year alone…
- ANZ; 1,000 redundancies
- Air New Zealand: 441 redundancies
- Yellow Pages; 125 redundancies
- Wire by Design, 55 redundancies
- Hakes Marine; 15 redundancies
- Telecom; 400 redundancies
- Brightwater Engineering; 40 redundancies
- Pernod Ricard New Zealand; 13 redundancies
- Depart of Corrections; 130 redundancies
- Summit Wool Spinners; 80 redundancies
- Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade; 80 redundancies
- Cavalier/Norman Ellison Carpets; 70 redundancies
- IRD; 51 redundancies
- Flotech; 70 redundancies
- NZ Police; 125 redundancies
- CRI Plant and Food; 25 redundancies
- Te Papa; 16 redundancies (?) 30 redundancies (?)
- PrimePort Timaru; 30 redundancies
- Kiwirail; 158 redundancies
- Fisher & Paykel; 29 redundancies
- Goulds Fine Foods; 60 redundancies
- Canterbury University; 150 redundancies (over three years)
- Solid Energy;
363 redundancies460 redundancies
- Tiwai Pt aluminium smelter; 100 redundancies
- Axiam Metals; 44 redundancies
- Norske Skog; 120 redundancies
- Goodman Fielder; redundancy numbers t.b.a.
- Dunedin City Council/Delta: 30 redundancies
- Blue Sky Meats; 100 redundancies
- Kaipara Ltd/Stockton Alliance; 63 redundancies
- Wainuiomata New World; 44 redundancies
- Nuplex; 64 redundancies
- Newmont Waihi Gold; 20 redundancies
- Ministry of Justice; 70-200 redundancies
- Salisbury School in Nelson and McKenzie Residential School in Christchurch; 90 redundancies
- Rakon; 60 redundancies
- Dynamic Solutions; 40-60 redundancies
- Thorn Lighting; 8 redundancies
- Eastern Institute of Technology; 12 redundancies (?)
- UCOL; 30 – 50 redundancies
- Kiwirail Hillside Workshops; 90 redundancies
- SCA Hygiene Australasia; 140 redundancies
- Dunedin City Council: 10 redundancies
- Carter Holt Harvey; 70 redundancies
- NZ Herald: 8 redundancies
- Apata Fruit Packhouse: 25 redundancies
… how is it “hard to predict”?
But perhaps the top prize for Denial, Deflection, and Downright Dumbness has to go to the Minister for Social Welfare, ex-DPB recipient and expert at using taxpayer funds for her own benefit…
Bennett responded with this very helpful advice,
“The Warehouse Group has 300 full-time and part-time jobs, across three stores, available between October and January. Brightwater Engineers Ltd is looking for 40 staff at the moment. Mitre 10 is opening a store in Rotorua, and it wants 50 permanent-”
Excellent! 430 jobs!
So that leaves 174, 570 out of 175,000 unemployed!
Oh wait, no. The Warehouse is seeking 430 only between October and January. After that, those 430 go back on the dole…
Bennett sympathises with the unemployed though, as she stated in Parliament, with great wailing and gnashing of teeth,
“It’s tough out there but there are jobs… people need to be actively looking to be able to take up the opportunities, it’s as simple as that.”
Yeah, ya losers. Everyone knows there are 175,000 jobs out there. Employers simply aren’t advertising them ‘cos they take a peculiar pleasure in keeping such things secret. But if you make a wish to the Magic Jobs Fairy (as well as the Magic Lotto Pixies), your dreams will come true.
Good onya, Tinkerbell!
By the way, lose the red dress, sweetie – Dear Leader might think it looks a bit, y’know… gay?
= fs =
For a better New Zealand…
~ Cleaner rivers
~ No deep-sea oil drilling
~ Less on Roads - more on Rail
~ A Living wage at $19.25/hr
~ Marriage equality - Yay! Got that one!
~ Strong, effective Unions
~ No secret free-trade deals
~ Breakfast/lunches in our schools
~ Introducing Civics into our school curriculum
~ Cut back on the liquor industry
~ A fairer, progressive tax system
~ Fully funded, free healthcare
~ Ditto for education, including Tertiary
~ Fund Pharmac for Pompe's Disease medication & other 'orphan' drugs
~ No state asset sales!
~ Rebuild public TV broadcasting!
~ Keeping farms in local ownership
~ Reduce poverty, like we reduced the toll for road-fatalities
~ Jobs, Jobs, Jobs!
~ Being nice to each other
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- Flag thoughts and settling dust – Dedicated to our esteemed Dear Leader and Audrey Young
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