Home > The Body Politic > The Muppet Show – Kiwi style!

The Muppet Show – Kiwi style!



I just want to emphasise that it is not our best guess; it’s just a guess. It’s just to put some numbers in that look like they might be roughly right for forecasting purposes.

“That’s an honest answer.”Bill English, 17 February 2012

That may be an “honest answer” – but it also has to rank as one of the dumbest in New Zealand’s political history.

To explain what Bill English was being “honest” about,


Full Story


That’s right, folks, our Finance Minister has just let slip that National has no idea how much money they will raise from the part-privatisation of Genesis Energy, Might River Power, Meridian, Solid Energy, and Air New Zealand.

They don’t have a clue.

The $5 -$7 billion they have been quoting pre and post election are figures seemingly plucked out of hot-air from Parliament’s oxygen-depleted atmosphere. (Oxygen depletion tends to have unpleasant side-effects on a brain such as confused, muddled, thinking.)

John Key – realising that Bill English had made National the laughing stock of the country – jumped in, changing the “best guess” to a “best estimate”,


Full Story


However, Key didn’t help matters much when he added,

I think they are our best estimates”.

“There are lots of variables in there … what we do know is the Crown will absolutely have a minimum of 51 per cent shareholding but could have more. We don’t know what price the market will pay at the time; we don’t know the exact timing of all these particular floats.”

So let’s see.  Key and English don’t know any of the following,

  • How much will be raised by the partial-privatisation?
  • Whether they will end up with 51% ownership – or more?
  • Or even the timing of the “floats” (sale of shares)?
  • Or what price the shares will be sold at???

No wonder Greens co-leader Russel Norman said, in utter exasperation,

That isn’t how we should be running the finances of New Zealand.”

Norman wasn’t playing usual political one-upmanship games – he was voicing the entire country’s disquiet at what is rapidly looking like mickey mouse incompetance.

Yet again this is an example of National simply not being up-with-the-play.  Much like unaffordable tax-cuts of ’09 and ’10; the Jobs Summit of 2009 that achieved very little;   the credit down-grade they “never saw coming”; the broken promise on raising gst; the $1.4 billion revenue short-fall – National’s economic policies seem to be ad-hoc at the very best.

No wonder even the business community was left wondering if National had any plan at all for economic recovery.

If this was the Muppet Show, it might look something like this,



Instead, it looks like this,


Full Story


These two clowns muppets are in charge of billions of dollars worth of public property?

I am not reassured. In fact, I wouldn’t trust these two to run  a charity sausage sizzle.

I can imagine how that would end badly,

  • 1 x sausage, @ 50 cents wholesale
  • gas, onion, sauces, napkin, est. 50 cents per sausage
  • Retail price: ? 40 cents   60 cents   75 cents!

Cue: muppet theme & roll credits.




Other Blog stories

Selling assets will cost us more than keeping them – the idiocy of National

“Best guess?” – National and Fairfax are working very hard for one another



  1. Pooper
    22 February 2012 at 12:55 am

    I honestly dont think they know what they’re doing. They are slashing government departments and public services with them. Who will do the work?? Working in the public sector is not a bunch of people sitting around twiddling their thumbs! It’s very busy.

  2. RedJez
    22 February 2012 at 10:42 am

    “Who will do the work?” Corporate contractors.

    They are following a classic neo-liberal agenda and appear to be starving the public service into submission, whilst attempting to maintain a moderate centrist position.

  3. Harry
    22 February 2012 at 2:50 pm

    Bolger and Shipley did exactly the same thing from 1990 to 1999 until people got sick and tired of the bullshit. Back then the ricjh got richer, the poor got screwed, and people died on waiting lists. now we’re back to square 1!

  4. Bad Mistake
    22 February 2012 at 4:00 pm

    I admit I voted National. i’m usually a swing voter and have voted between Nz First and Labour. I tried National in 2008 and last year because I thought Key sounded fairly reasonable.

    I thought he’s change his mind over the sale of the power companies but that hasn’t happened. So he’s not as reasonable as I thought. So back to Labour or Nz First next time.

    Sorry New Zealand I stuffed up.

  1. 2 April 2012 at 4:45 pm

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