Archive
Amazing events this last month!!!
Three amazing events that’ve taken place this last months, and which serves to remind us how unpredictable and weird the Universe can really be…
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Sensational!!!
Richard III’s skeleton discovered!
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The grave of Richard III was discovered on 4 February, under a carpark in Leicester (fitting, being the 21st Century), and caused a worldwide sensation as this 528 year old King was prominent in British history as well as the subject of a play by William Shakespeare…
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Astounding!!!
Meteor shower over Russia!
Straight out of a science fiction movie, a huge meteor entered the atmosphere and exploded over the Russian city of Chelyabinsk, three days ago. Luckily, it exploded into fragments high up in the atmosphere.
Had it impacted the ground intact, the devastation and loss of life would’ve been far more severe.
It was a small taste of what our dino cuzzies must’ve experienced, 65 million years ago…
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Unbelievable!!!
Hekia Parata fronts on Campbell Live – Sceptics Society shocked!
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Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either…
After sending her ‘flunkies’ (see previous blogopost: Parata, Bennett, and Collins – what have they been up to?) to front for her and take media heat for Christchurch schools closures, the Novopay debacle, and other foul-ups – Education Minister, Hekia Parata finally fronted for an interview with TV3′s John Campbell.
The media training that Parata has been given seems to have worked. Her demented grin…
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- was gone.
Meanwhile, in ‘quake ravaged Christchurch, where increased stress is causing children to have nightmares and instances of bedwetting has skyrocketed (see: Quakes traumatise kids), Parata has decided not to close or amalgamate 31 schools.
She’s only going to close/amalgamate 13 schools (see: Minister announces fate of Canterbury schools).
Well, that’s that’s f*****g big of her, isn’t it?!
Why not further gut the heart out of a community that has lost 185 of it’s people to a violent, natural disaster; thousands of homes damages or destroyed; businesses closed; insurance companies and EQC dicking people around; and entire neighbourhoods written off.
In case anyone needed proof that National has no heart, well, look no further.
And for all you National supporters out there who don’t give a rats because it hasn’t happened to you… well, Karma is working over-time at present.
Your turn will come.
To the people of Christchurch, and for those shocked by today’s announcements, I just want to say that a whole lot of your fellow New Zealanders are with you, in spirit at least. I just hope there’s a change of government before Parata can implement her rotten-to-the-core, penny-pinching, policies.
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= fs =
Asteroids, aliens, and an alternative scenario…
Two recent stories in the media have broken the usual msm ‘diet’ of crime/police/court “news”; disasters; war zones; our worsening economic situation and other on-going f**k-ups by National,
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Source: Radio NZ
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And this dramatic event, over Russia,
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Source: Radio NZ
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Now, without any intention to demean those who’ve been injured and lost property from the meteor shower over Russia, I have another interpretation on these two events.
Are they un-related?
Or are both events linked?
Perhaps Monty Python’s movie, “The Life of Brian” unwittingly offered an insight,
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Parata, Bennett, and Collins – what have they been up to?
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Muppet #1 – Hekia Parata
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“I actually think she’s a very effective communicator; in fact if you look at her history in politics, she’s been one of the smoothest communicators we’ve actually had.” – John Key, 18 January 2013
See: Parata safe in her job – Key
Prime Minister John Key says Education Minister Hekia Parata will be safe in an upcoming Cabinet reshuffle, … because she is hugely talented and one of National’s best communicators.
See: Parata’s job safe in shuffle
*snort!*
I’d be a happy chappy if the Nats DID have more like her in Cabinet!!
If she’s one of the Nat’s “best communicators”, I’d luv to know why she’s kept ducking calls for media interviews and instead sent Lesley Longstone to cover for Parata’s f**k-ups,
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2 October 2012
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3 October 2012
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4 October 2012
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26 October 2012
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29 October 2013
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14 November 2012
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28 November 2012
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When Lesley Longstone’s resignation was announced last year on 19 December, Hekia Parata was still nowhere to be seen. The announcement was handled by State Services Commissioner Iain Rennie (see: Education secretary quits),
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19 December 2012
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20 December 2012
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Parata’s office explained why she couldn’t front,
Parata is currently on holiday and has refused to front on Longstone’s resignation, but in a statement released this afternoon she thanked Longstone for her efforts in leading the Ministry.
See: Education Ministry boss quits after ‘strained relationship’
Hmmmm, judging by Parata not fronting for most of last year, was she on holiday for most of 2012?!
“Smooth communicator…”!?
Ye gods, this deserves a Tui billboard.
Roll on 2013 – it’s going to be a great year.
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Muppet #2 – Paula Bennett
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Social Welfare Minister, Paula Bennett, has a relationship with hypocrisy, bene-bashing, and mendacity that can only be described as “intimate”.
Since 2011, she has derided and denigrated the unemployed; solo-parents; widows, invalids, the sick, and young people, and blamed them for being in a position requiring welfare assistance.
Never mind the fact that the Global Financial Crisis of 2007/08 has seen unemployment skyrocket from 3.4% in 2007 to the current 7.3%.
Or that welfare recipients as a whole were at their lowest in 2008.
National’s entire strategy for getting people off welfare has not been about job creation – that has beemn left to the “Market” to sort out – but about punitive sanctions targetting those receiving welfare.
See previous blogpost for full list of sanctions targetting welfare recipients: Johnny’s Report Card – National Standards Assessment – the social welfare safety net
Even Dear Leader had a go at welfare recipients in February 2011,
“But it is also true that anyone on a benefit actually has a lifestyle choice. If one budgets properly, one can pay one’s bills.
And that is true because the bulk of New Zealanders on a benefit do actually pay for food, their rent and other things. Now some make poor choices and they don’t have money left.” – John Key, 17 February, 2011
See: Food parcel families made poor choices, says Key
Key had even more daft things to say about welfare recipients here; National to push 46,000 off welfare . But not a single word about generating jobs for the unemployed. Not. One. Word.
Now that 5,000 sole-parents have mysteriously “dropped off” from DPB welfare, I have a question for Ms Bennet and Dear Leader;
Will those sole parents be acknowledged for finding work (a questionable assumption in itself) in a tough marketplace where unemployment stands at 7.3% (175,000 people) and where, it was announced today, growth in the jobs market has slowed? (See: Unemployment rate set to hold as job ads flatten out – ANZ, Job growth slows, says Trade Me)
Will Bennett acknowledge that people are on welfare – not because it is an opulent lifestyle – but because of sheer necessity?
Will the Minister – who successfully exploited the welfare system for her own benefit; bought a house using WINZ funding; and gave up paid employment because it was “too tough” to study, work, and care for her daughter simultaneously – acknowledge that it was not National’s punitive bene-bashing policies that found work for 5,000 sole-parents, but the parents themselves?
Or will she grab the kudos for herself?
More than half of that drop happened in the last three months of the year, after the introduction of Ms Bennett’s policy required sole parents to get part-time work when their youngest child turned five and fulltime work for those whose children were older than 14.
Ms Bennett said 3221 sole parents had returned to work since that came into force in October.
See: Bennett trumpets 5000 fewer on DPB
Yup. She’s taken the credit for herself.
Addendum
The numbers quoted in the Heral story are at variance with those from the Ministry of Social Developement.
From the NZ Herald,
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From the MSD,
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Even the Herald’s own trance of figures is not consistent. The DPB figures are compared between 2011 and 2012. The remaining two trances – All Types of Benefits and Unemployment – are compared between 2010 and 2012.
Dodgy.
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Muppet #3 – Judith Collins
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Remember “Crusher” Collins? Remember New Zealand’s own Iron Lady who brooks no sh*t from criminals, boy racers, or stroppy Labour MPs?
Remember how Collins was going to deal to crims who had been awarded compensation for breaches of their rights,
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The Nats love to thrash the Law & Order issues. It appeals to low information voters, rednecks, and right wing simpletons and is great for the Tories to score a few thousand extra votes at election time.
In reality it achieves zip to actually reform and rehabilitate prisoners, and address core problems in their offending; alcolhol/drug abuse; illiteracy; unresolved psychiatric problems; and off course the number one factor; no prospects for employment.
Which is why it’s a bit of a surprise when a National minister appears to See The Light, and backtracks on one of their core, Get-Tough-On-Crims policies,
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It’s nice to see a National minister shy away from mindless knee-jerk law-making that appeals to the Talback Radio mindset – but achieves very little except nudge New Zealand closer to being an autocratic state.
Until the next election, of course,
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Other blogs
Tumeke: Paula Bennett and her amazing vanishing beneficiaries
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= fs =
On the First Day of Christmas…
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… My country gave to me:
a PM we can all respect!
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On the second day of Christmas,
My country gave to me:
A new public service TV
and a PM we can all respect!
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On the third day of Christmas,
My country gave to me:
No state asset sales,
A new public service TV
and a PM we can all respect!
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On the fourth day of Christmas,
My country gave to me:
Much cleaner rivers,
No state asset sales,
A new public service TV
and a PM we can all respect!
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On the fifth day of Christmas,
My country gave to me:
Lots more jobs, less bene-bashing!
Much cleaner rivers,
No state asset sales,
A new public service TV
and a PM we can all respect!
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On the sixth day of Christmas,
My country gave to me:
An end to fracking ‘n’ deep-sea drilling,
Lots more jobs, less bene-bashing!
Much cleaner rivers,
No state asset sales,
A new public service TV
and a PM we can all respect!
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On the seventh day of Christmas,
My country gave to me:
A raise in minimum wages,
An end to fracking ‘n’ deep-sea drilling,
Lots more jobs, less bene-bashing!
Much cleaner rivers,
No state asset sales,
A new public service TV
and a PM we can all respect!
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On the eighth day of Christmas,
My country gave to me:
Less spent on roads, more on public transport,
A raise in minimum wages,
An end to fracking ‘n’ deep-sea drilling,
Lots more jobs, less bene-bashing!
Much cleaner rivers,
No state asset sales,
A new public service TV
and a PM we can all respect!
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On the ninth day of Christmas,
My country gave to me:
No secret free trade ‘deals’
Less spent on roads, more on public transport,
A raise in minimum wages,
An end to fracking ‘n’ deep-sea drilling,
Lots more jobs, less bene-bashing!
Much cleaner rivers,
No state asset sales,
A new public service TV
and a PM we can all respect!
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On the tenth day of Christmas,
My country gave to me:
Free school meals for our kiddies.
No secret free trade ‘deals’
Less spent on roads, more on public transport,
A raise in minimum wages,
An end to fracking ‘n’ deep-sea drilling,
Lots more jobs, less bene-bashing!
Much cleaner rivers,
No state asset sales,
A new public service TV
and a PM we can all respect!
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On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My country gave to me:
Fully funded free healthcare,
Free school meals for our kiddies.
No secret free trade ‘deals’
Less spent on roads, more on public transport,
A raise in minimum wages,
An end to fracking ‘n’ deep-sea drilling,
Lots more jobs, less bene-bashing!
Much cleaner rivers,
No state asset sales,
A new public service TV
and a PM we can all respect!
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On the twelth day of Christmas,
My country gave to me:
Real free education,
Fully funded free healthcare,
Free school meals for our kiddies.
No secret free trade ‘deals’
Less spent on roads, more on public transport,
A raise in minimum wages,
An end to fracking ‘n’ deep-sea drilling,
Lots more jobs, less bene-bashing!
Much cleaner rivers,
No state asset sales,
A new public service TV
and a PM we can all respect!
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… and of course, there is much, much more. But these will do for starters.
Thank you to everyone who has taken time to read my scribblings and to share their thoughts, by leaving comments. From this blogger and his family, we wish everyone a happy Christmas; time to catch up with loved ones; and a safe and even better New Year.
Merry Christmas, Meri Kirihimete
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my fellow New Zealanders!
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John Key Forgets…
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It’s Daylight Saving Time…
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… don’t forget to set your clocks forward by two years, and go out and vote!
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Diversion Strategem #5
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How to divert the Television Generation public;
Strategem #1: Blame it on dem filthy lazy benes! (*tick*)
Strategem #2: Stand up to dem lazy, uppity Mow-ries! (*tick*)
Strategem #3: Host an international sporting tournament! (Did that last year.)
Strategem #4: Declare war on someone! (Fiji? Kermadec Islands? A passing iceberg?)
Strategem #5: Invite some Royals to visit! (Clothing optional)
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*tick*
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= fs =
Seen outside our back door, this morning…
We had a visitor come for breakfast this morning…
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Then it noticed us looking and s/he must’ve been wondering what we we looking at,
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We’ve had many tui visiting that particular tree, but this was the first time a kereru had turned up. (There are several kereru living in the area, plus a ruru in the hills not far from us. We often hear it’s lone, plaintive cries on a still night.)
It was a real pleasure seeing this shy, beautiful creature so close and so trusting of us…
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= fs =
A solution to John the Fibber…
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This, folks, is our Dear Leader, John Key
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Dear Leader sometimes has a problem differentiating between making a statement that is true – and one that is not quite so true.
This gadget, below, is a lie detector, also known as a polygraph,
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They even come as hand-held versions. This one is called a de-FIB-ulator (clever, eh?),
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Now with a bit of judicious wiring… some strapping to his clothing… and someone to monitor inputs/outputs…
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Sorted.
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= fs =
A music moment: Kim Dotcom – John Banks Song
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Acknowledgement: Taura
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Dear Leader and a basket of kittens…
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A little girl named Suzy-Moana was standing on the pavement in front of her home.
Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.
Suddenly a line of big cars pulled up beside her.
Out of the lead car stepped a grinning man.
“Hi there little girl, I’m John Key, the leader of the National Party, what do you have in the basket?” he asked.
“Kittens,” little Suzy-Moana said.
“How old are they?” asked Key
Suzy-Moana replied, “They’re so young, their eyes aren’t even open yet.”
“And what kind of kittens are they?”
“National supporters,” answered Suzy-Moana with a smile.
Key was delighted! As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.
Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two of them agreed that he should return the next day; and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.
So the next day, Suzy-Moana was again standing on the pavement with her basket of “FREE KITTENS,” when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from BBC, CNN, Sky News, TVNZ, TV3, Radio NZ, NZ Herald, and News-Talk ZB.
Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Key got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy-Moana.
“Hello, again,” he said, “I’d love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you’re giving away.”
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“Yes Sir,” Suzy-Moana said. “They’re NZ First, Labour, Mana, and Green supporters.”
Taken by surprise, Key stammered, “But…but…yesterday, you told me they were NATIONAL SUPPORTERS.”
Little Suzy-Moana shrugged, smiled, and said,
“I know. But today, they have their eyes open.”
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= fs =
A music moment
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Dedicated to Paula Bennett.
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She Rides Again!
From Labour leader, David Shearer’s Facebook page,
” This morning I went to read to the children at Owairaka Primary School in my electorate, and this was the book the teachers had chosen! ” – David Shearer
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And it soon became apparent why the teachers chose this book for David Shearer,
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Let’s hope that Mrs Parata’s ride doesn’t include going down the road of League Tables, Charter Schools, and other mind-numbingly silly New Right ideas.
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League Tables that really count!
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A Real League Table:
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New Zealand’s Most Trusted Professions 2011
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1. Firefighters
2. Rescue volunteers
3. Paramedics
4. Pilots
5. Nurses
6. Medical specialists
7. Pharmacists
8. Veterinarians
9. Armed Forces
10. GPs
11. Police
12. Teachers
13. Scientists
14. Farmers
15. Childcare workers
16. Judges
17. Bus/train/tram drivers
18. Chefs
19. Dentists
20. Psychologists/counsellors
21. Hairdressers
22. Plumbers
23. Waiters
24. Mechanics
25. Builders
26. Cleaners
27. Shop assistants
28. Religious ministers
29. Charity collectors
30. Bankers
31. Accountants
32. Taxi drivers
33. Tow truck drivers
34. CEOs
35. Financial planners
36. Lawyers
37. Celebrities
38. Journalists
39. Real estate agents
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40. Car Salesmen*
41. Sex workers*
42. Politicians*
43. Telemarketers*
* From 2010 Survey, appended to this list.
See: Reader’s Digest New Zealand’s Most Trusted Professions 2011
See: Reader’s Digest New Zealand’s Most Trusted Professions 2010
It seems a bit unfair that telemarketers are ranked below politicians. Telemarketers are simply trying to earn money to put food on their families tables.
And interesting that sex-workers rank above politicians. At least with sex workers, you know when you’re being ‘screwed’*?
At the same time, whilst politicians are second from the bottom of this League Table – teachers rate at #12, between Police and Scientists!
This blogger makes the point that politicians should be looking at themselves and why they rate lower than prostitutes, in the public eye, rather than constantly attacking teachers and our education system.
The only system that is ‘broke’ is not in our schools – it is with our elected representatives.
John Key may crow that his party won the ‘biggest victory’ under MMP – but he’s missing a salient point. People only voted for him and/or National because a whole bunch of voters couldn’t be bothered fighting against misleadingly high poll ratings.
Ok – politicians are at the bottom of this League Table of professions.
So what do they intend to do about it?
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* No offence intended to sex workers.
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Acknowledgement for idea for this blogpost
Katherine Raue
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= fs =
The Ben & Gerry Show
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Folks, meet Ben Polis,
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Ben Polis
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Folks, no need to introduce this gentleman to you,
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Gerry Brownlee
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Ben, meet Gerry.
Gerry, meet Ben,
You two should be very happy together…
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Ooops!
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Former Police Minister Collins must’ve been a bit miffed at hearing this. In fact, she must’ve felt ‘crushed‘…
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= fm =
A refrigerator!?!? “F**k the Poor!”
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Jon Stewart sums up why the poor should for pay for everything. And why taxing the “productive class” is simply unthinkable…
Yeah, right.
Enjoy!
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Genius!
Two questions spring to mind;
- Why don’t we have clever satirists like that here in New Zealand? (Bomber Bradbury comes pretty damn close)
- Why can’t we have Jon Stewart for a Prime Minister?
- How many right wingers can stay right wing after watching that?
(Ok, that was three. I snuck one in.)
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John Key’s List of Achievements
A music moment
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If you can feel the gentle breeze of change in the air, you’re not alone…
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This is for the workers at Ports of Auckland, AFFCO, and Oceania Rest homes.
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The Lie Clock…
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A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, “What are all those clocks?”
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”
“Oh,” said the man, “whose clock is that?”
“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”
“Incredible,” said the man. “And whose clock is that one?” St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock.
The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”
“Where’s John Keys clock?” asked the man.
” John’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”
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And from our “Only in New Zealand” files…
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This article from today’s “Dominion Post” deserves re-printing in full,
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Complaints as nudists hit Peka Peka
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KAY BLUNDELL
Last updated 05:00 31/01/2012Nudists parading on Peka Peka Beach are again sparking complaints to police.
The complaints come ahead of a “skinny-dipping by moonlight” event being promoted to mark the next full moon.
Naturist group Free Beaches is inviting people throughout New Zealand to cast off their inhibitions and enjoy swimming without togs “when the great ivory ball creates a silver, rippling path across the dark blue sea” on February 8.
Sergeant Noel Bigwood, of Otaki, said police had responded to two complaints around Peka Peka during the holiday period. The first was from a father concerned about a nude man parading in front of families at the northern end of the beach.
Mr Bigwood went to look for the man but could not find him. While at the beach, he spoke to two young women, both aged about 20, asking whether they had seen a nude man walking along the beach and whether they had been offended. They told him: “Oh yes, because he was old and ugly.”
Mr Bigwood, 58, said that was a bit tragic. “The man was described as about 45 years old. You can imagine how I felt – not great.”
Nudity is allowed on Kapiti beaches as long as it is not offensive to other beachgoers.
Police also responded to a complaint about two nude men spotted near the Te Hapua Rd beach entrance, north of Peka Peka, which is a popular spot for gay men.
“As long as they keep out of the face of families and stay in reasonable seclusion, who can be offended?”
Asked about the full moon event, he said: “Skinny dipping per se is not a problem. Without revealing too much, I can highly recommend it. My only concern is water safety.”
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Nice to read a bit of worldly humour from our local “Bobbies“. Too often our police are presented in a dour, negative, or critical manner in the media. Occassionally though, we see a glimpse of their humanity and the humour which – I guess - would be major requirement to do the kind of work so necessary for our society’s wellbeing.
I also felt Sergeant Bigwood’s “pain”, when the young women in the Dompost piece said,
“Oh yes, because he was old and ugly.”
I cringed as well.
Perhaps I’ll be thinking twice before hitting our local beach in the near future? Is there a beach reserved exclusively for 50+ “old and ugly” males? Where we can dive carefree into the waves – instigating mini-tsunamis in the process, that will eventually find their way to shorelines in South America and Antarctica?
I had the pleasure of a brief chat with Sgt Bigwood. And yes, folks, I can report that his sense of humour is not mis-reported in the Dompost. His light-hearted personality came through and even over the phone, he came across as a likeable chap.
Those on the wrong-side of the law in Otaki must have a hard time dis-liking the Sergeant. It would be enough to make someone go straight!
Sgt Bigwood confirmed that he regularly patrols Otaki Beach, going “under cover as a flabby, paunchy middle aged” man…
I enquired where he might put his police ID number, and where he might hang his… [comment withheld for good taste].
He laughed and replied that he always patrolled the beach fully clothed, “for the benefit of everyone concerned”.
I replied that I understood, and suggested that with his sense of humour he would be welcomed as our local “bobby”.
Sadly though, the sergeant replied that he was due for retirement in June, and would be heading of overseas to his “exotic wife’s homeland”.
Thailand? Morroco?
“No, Britain,” he replied.
However, Sgt Bigwood fully intends to return to New Zealand in a year or two after his “Big OE”, as he has too many grand children to leave behind.
We wish the sergeant all the best for the remainder of his career; his impending retirement; and a safe journey overseas. We hope he eventually returns in good health, and humour. (The latter would be a ‘given’, I’m thinking.)
The only thing is, if I ever meet up with Sgt Bigwood on Otaki Beach, would I recognise him without his uniform…?
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